im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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