im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
