If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
