i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize