After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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