you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
