I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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