One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
