Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
