if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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