Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
