I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
