put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Success! We fucked roommates!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
