its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
