fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Randomize
