At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
