He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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