If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
