I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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