Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
