yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
