Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
