why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
