oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
