Me too!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
