im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
