I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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