like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
