y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
third nipple confirmed
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