aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
