it was like having sex with a tree stump
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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