chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
