i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
