birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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