we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
