Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
