Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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