Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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