U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
