No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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