matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
