And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
