he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
