I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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