Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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