Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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