Soap is not a condiment
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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