He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
