hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my being single is dangerous.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
