I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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