I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize