I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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