She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
