If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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