last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
