hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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