How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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