bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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