So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
