the condom got lost in my hair
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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