I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
