So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize