cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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