D3 body, D1 cock
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
